Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
