Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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