did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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