dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
