I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize