Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
