so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
