I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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