Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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