Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
