I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
