We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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