We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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