I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
