He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
