Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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