Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
