Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Randomize
Follow @tfln