We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.