Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.

(415): View more from California

we had.

(650): View more from California

well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.

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(650): sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter. (415): we had. (650): well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again. http://tfl.nu/lm7j

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(214): View more from Texas

The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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(214): The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much http://tfl.nu/5lxi

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(706): View more from Georgia

Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Well thats $24,000 well spent.

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(706): Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me. (1-706): Well thats $24,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/bc5q

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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(248): I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis http://tfl.nu/utf8

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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(502): I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/n96o

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(310): View more from California

So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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(310): So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes http://tfl.nu/3hm9

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(740): View more from Ohio

She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.

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(740): She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/9d1v

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(801): View more from Utah

I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

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(801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm

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(910): View more from North Carolina

In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

(919): View more from North Carolina

RIP Mr Bojangles.

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(910): In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic. (919): RIP Mr Bojangles. http://tfl.nu/00j7

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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(843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18

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(907): View more from Alaska

It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

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(907): It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome. http://tfl.nu/2baz

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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(484): You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now. http://tfl.nu/l9he

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(760): View more from California

Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.

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(760): Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up. http://tfl.nu/n00x

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(+81): View more from

Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.

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(+81): Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/zx1z

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.

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(816): I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched. http://tfl.nu/gdap

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