toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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