How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
