And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
