I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
