It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
