never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
