Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
