Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
