He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
