So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
