If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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