why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dignity is for republicans.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Your cock deserves a montage
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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