Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
