I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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