She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
