He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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