dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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