We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
