Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
