Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
