the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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