I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
