I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
