# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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