Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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