I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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