I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
