I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
