she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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