alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
