I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
