Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We need to get me chipped asap
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
