i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
