too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
