So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
