everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
