Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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