they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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