xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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