he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
