Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
